Saturday, March 17, 2012

I Swear

I swear - not like in "I swear that is the best piece of chocolate cake I've EVER had."  I swear like in "drunken sailor" swearing.
I think I swear less than when I was a stupid, insensitive teenager.  I sure as hell hope so.  See?  There I go again.  Although, I have to say I don't consider "hell" and "shit" swearing.  Same with "damn." 
Many years ago my best friend, Sue, and I decided to clean things up.  We swore (as in taking an oath) that we were going to stop.  Even stop using the non-swear words because, let's face it, seeing/hearing an older woman use those words is just . . . . well, not really very nice. We were in our 40s. ha!
Sue owned a restaurant at the time and she didn't even make it through the day.  I lasted a bit longer.
If I'm going to be brutally honest here I might as well get it off my chest - I drop the F-bomb way too often but, really, I haven't been able to find another word that packs the same punch.
I went on one of the bead maker forums that I frequent and asked for substitutions for the big one and garnered quite a list.  I tried really, really hard to use some of them too but it didn't take.  I'm trying to cut down, though, so that has to count for something.  Right?
The others I try to curtail using are the god/jesus ones. We've already talked about the fact that I'm not religious but I am sensitive and really don't want to offend my religious friends.  I need a little more work in that department too.  I'm sure if someone passed by while I had Augie out for an early morning pee-pee walk or a late night one, they might think his name was god-damn-it- Augie.  Sorry.  I really don't mean to, it just rolls off my tongue.
I was thinking of trying to channel my old "Stephens Susie" self but then I remembered that I swore up a storm back then.  Nope, that's not going to work.  And don't suggest I drop a quarter into some stupid swearing can every time I utter a bad word.
I think I'm a lost cause. Damn it!