Sunday, April 8, 2012

Do You Make Excuses or Fess Up Right Away?

Many years ago when my son was a little boy we hosted a "Santa" party every year - for several years running.  There was a really nice family living around the corner from us, at the time, that had a few kids and we invited them.  They had other plans and couldn't come that year.  I invited them the next year as well but, again, they couldn't attend.  When the next year rolled around the father finally told me that Santa was not part of their Christmas and he would rather not confuse the children by bringing them.  Fine, I understood completely.  No problem.
Remembering that time got me thinking of experiences I've had over the years of being asked to do things, join groups, attend certain functions, etc. and fibbing my way out instead of just saying "no thank you."
I was asked to join a committee a long time ago and I accepted but really, really didn't want any part of it.  My decision drove me crazy until I finally called the chair person (after rehearsing my speech several times) and told her that I was very sorry, I never should have accepted as I knew I wouldn't do a good job; my life just wasn't set up for that type of volunteer work at that time.  Whew.
That was the beginning for me.  I became more comfortable saying "no."  People that know me have finally stopped sending me postcard invites to Tupperware parties and Pampered Chef gatherings.
I've even said no to hospice and you know how much I love them.  I've been volunteering in bereavement support for many years and was asked to lead a group on a regular basis.  I know myself well enough now that if I accepted that position I would grow to resent it. 
Are there times when I tell a little white lie instead of being honest?  Yes, probably, although I can't think of an example right now but I'm sure it's happened and will happen but not near as often as it did when I was younger and unsure of myself.
How about you?


  1. Leslye Wilson BursonApril 8, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Like you Ellen, I say "no thank you" very quickly !!!

  2. I'm a fesser upper and thats,that!

  3. My blog name kind of says it all! I have learned to say no.

  4. I am quite comfortable saying "no" If I want to do something I will. I believe doing something "good" but actually resenting it sort off undoes the "good" in any case...