Friday, June 1, 2012

Ever Put Your Foot in Your Mouth?

First off - I wonder how that saying came into being?  Other than a baby, who can actually put their foot in their mouth?  Just thought I'd throw that out there - maybe someone has the answer.
Back to the title.  Have you - opened mouth, inserted foot?  I certainly have.  Both times (there were many but these two are permanently engraved on my memory wall) were regarding pregnancy.
Yes, that's right.  I asked a woman about her due date and SHE WASN'T PREGNANT!!!  I remember where we were, what the weather was like that day and I even remember what she was wearing.  I quickly looked around hoping to find a hole in the parking lot that I could jump into.
You can bet your bippy that I never, never did that again.  I vowed that no matter the situation I would keep my big mouth shut unless the woman brought the subject up herself..
The second pregnancy faux pas was at a party.  Again, I remember where we were standing and who else was in attendance.  We were talking about having babies (this was several years ago - obviously) and I knew that one of the women in the group was pregnant so I said, "Wow, you are so brave to go for the third one."  Or something equally innocent.  She then told me what apparently everyone else knew except me; that she'd had a miscarriage. Again, I looked for that damn hole to swallow me up - nowhere to be found.
The next example I will gladly share with you happened to my dad.  I knew I inherited the trait from someone.
The scene:  standing on the beach, at the water's edge, in South Haven, MI, with one of his closest friends.  Both of them gazing out at the water, smoking cigarettes and slyly checking out the bathing beauties.  Dad glanced down the beach and said to his pal, "Purk, don't look now but here comes one of the homeliest women I have ever laid eyes on."  Purk did the slow, nonchalant head turn, paused for a moment before turning back to dad and said, "I would have to agree with you, Brach.  That's my sister."
Oh, I thought of another one.  Not me, though, so I'm thrilled this memory just came back to me.
The scene: a party.  A few men standing around doing the "man talk" thing.  One of them spotted a beautiful young woman across the room.  He'd never seen her before and she was a sight to behold.  I believe his eyeballs actually left their sockets - just like in a cartoon.  He asked the small group who she was and I'm sure there were some "guy adjectives" thrown into the question.  Once again, the slow head turn and one of the men declared the beauty to be his daughter.  Awkward.
I really think there's an aura or feeling that comes upon one as the mouth opens and the words fly out.  You can almost see the words and maybe you think about reaching out into the air to grab them. As if.   Or maybe you get that sick feeling in your stomach because you know you've just committed a horrid error.
So - naturally, I'd love to hear your stories involving your mouth and your foot.  I can't possibly be the only one out here.


  1. Yep, I think you might be the only one out there - I certainly never said anything to anyone anywhere that was the slightest bit offensive or embarrassing. No, not me.

  2. LOL you are funny!

    I can relate to this terrible foot in mouth problem ...This is years ago, but it still lives on now and then. Years ago when I still worked for a boss we had our year end function at a nice little restaurant in town, much of the detail has slipped my mind, but after the evening came to an end and we drove home, we were stopped by the police...."Sir have you had anything to drink this evening?" My husband thought about the question... and I thought it took forever and I blurted out" Did you not have a bottle of wine!" Police responds before my husband can explain " Please step out the car sir, you will need to do a breathalyzer test.." Oh boy I knew there and then I was in trouble! I can't imagine what that policeman thought, but I felt like such a twit.
    My poor husband, well he still loves to tell the story, LOL


  3. Stace - I'm sure if you think real hard you might be able to come up with something . . . . or you're just not human - or a Brachman.
    Astrid - how long did it take your husband to forgive you?

  4. Still working at just kidding, I think he was just so shocked that I nearly got him locked-up, LOL It was just typical me, but I have learned since to try and keep my foot out of my mouth for most of the time ;)

  5. Oh Ellen........there are sooooo many. Tom swears that he is going to write a book with all of the stories. He even has a term for them.....he calls them "Janieisms"!

  6. Jane - I'm sure it'll be a best-seller.

  7. Hmmmmm.....I have spent most of my life extracting my foot from my mouth. As I look up this page I notice that there are 43 members and only one follower...should I be in extraction mode already 8?(}

  8. Hey, Wood - nice of you to drop in. I really don't understand the whole member/follower thing. If you don't "join" I think you can still comment.
    I didn't want people to have to do anything except stop by, read and leave a comment if they wanted to.

  9. In a multi-cultural society like the USA, where there are people from all walks of life, issues, problems, and insecurities, there is bound to be the opportunity to make a blunder of oneself. I have committed a laundry list of such blunders. I will humor you with a couple.

    Someone asked me, "What would you think if someone gave you a $100 coffee gift card?" My response was, "It's a waste of money." To later find out that my Christmas gift was the $100 coffee gift card. Where's that hole in the parking lot? I need some crawl space, too. So, that blunder came so innocently, and I just did not see it coming at the time.

    email blunders - carbon copy, reply all, and not using spell check are some of worst things that could happen to the sender of emails. You would not think that the ending of a word would make a big difference, but "hello" and "hell" are really two different words. Starting the email with the salutation with the latter word can appear to the reader a bit "angry", nonchalant, or just venting in a passive-aggressive manner.

    There is an idiom for that from a different culture - a person with a chipped lip will find it offensive to be offered to drink from a chipped bowl.

    The fine lines between cute, acceptability, and tolerance can make or break a person.