Sunday, February 5, 2012

"Just" One Child

I have one child.  A son - grown and gone.  It took us 8 years to decide we even wanted children and then thought "just" one was fine.
It didn't appear to be fine with everyone else, though.  It seemed that I was still nursing my son when people started asking me, "so when are you going to have another one?"  That didn't stop for quite a while.  When I responded that this was probably going to be it for us I got "oh, no, don't do that to him?"  Really?  Is it so horrid to be an "only" child?
As the years went by and I'd meet someone new the ice breakers were always "Are you married?  Where do you live? Do you have children?"  After my response, I'd get the sad face with "Just one, huh?"
There isn't some kind of unwritten law that I don't know about that says you have to have more than one or any at all - is there?
I remember talking to a woman several years ago about this very topic.  She had one child and was desperately trying to get pregnant with her second.  Desperately.  She said is was extremely frustrating to be asked that question like it was anybody's business.
I have a young friend who has a less-than 3 yr old and a new set of twins.  I would have had to take up residence in a rubber room.  She's the gal that can handle it, though.  I know myself well enough to know that it was good that I stopped after one.
Only child.  I don't ever say that.  Just one.  Nope.  I have one - no need for further explanation.
BTW - I don't have the skills (apparently) to change the posting time.  No, I'm not up and posting at 5a!  


  1. Hi Ellen,

    great to see that you have a blogsite I can visit:))
    I am going have to sit and read through it all with a cup of coffee in hand :)

    I have a daughter and a son with an age difference of 7.8 years and from the same marriage ;) I also was quite happy to have one child, and she kept me busy!!! Well after 7 years went by I had a girlfriend who wanted another child she also had 1 boy and the age difference was the same as with my daughter. Initially I said no to the thought of another child, but by the time she almost gave birth to her daughter I was so broody that we decided to try and have another child, I was pregnant within the month, but not because I felt a pressure to do so, although I too had family members who found it very sad for my daughter to grow up without siblings!( they have 6 kids now, not quit the norm these days either!) Of course I am very happy that we did so! I think it is interesting how people react to anything outside the norm, I think the same applies to girls that don't get married etc... as if one could not be happy or full filled as a person without it!

    Have a lovely Sunday

  2. El - The "one" you have is a really good one!

  3. I always thought 4 would be nice. Thank goodness I only have 2!!!

  4. I always wanted two! I got my wish and they are 18 months apart. Of course 8 years later I found out I was pregnant! Not a happy camper, I was busy and involved with my girls, I was down to my lowest weight in years, and hubby was on the road and gone 4-6 days a week. This was not in the plans. Thank God the plans changed, because I was blessed from the day he took his first breath! Sure he broke my heart from time to time as he grew into a man, but I wouldn't change a thing! Son's are special to Mom's no matter how many you have!

  5. I have always told people that my step-daughter is good birth control. We weren't against having our own but didn't really go for it either--if it happened, it happened. Glad it didn't. But if it had, I would've wanted twin boys...I have no idea why.

  6. We were afraid to have an only child because it seemed like the only children we knew were a little wild (no names mentioned) but did not expect the bonus baby when we found out we were having twins. They are sweet girls though so that helps.