Ever Changing Labels

 I've been thinking again.  I know, scary, eh?

I've been thinking about labels and how they came about and how they've changed over the years.

When I first started working as a Sign Language interpreter the category was called "Hearing Impaired."  

I never thought a thing about it.  We shortened it all the time as HI.

Thankfully many years later the Deaf community stepped up (because someone finally asked them, probably) and made it known that they were either Deaf or Hard of Hearing.  

Thinking about that time led me to wonder of who comes up with these labels?  That HI category I can tell you definitely came from hearing people.  They also redefined the TTY (telephone for the Deaf) which is easy to read on someone's lips to TDD which is impossible to read. They also made a play for ASL, trying to bastardize the language into something that they  thought was better - Signed Exact English.  Yuck!

I could go on and on and on but let's keep going.

Native American, Native, Indian.  I don't know many people in that group but when I asked a friend of mine which he preferred he said "Indian."  He would also tell you, readily, which tribe he was from.

African American vs Black.  I hear both identities used all the time.  

I'm old so I go back to a time when "negro" and "colored" were used and worse.  I remember when people started using Black, I wasn't sure if that was ok or not.

Asian, Asian American, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, etc.  It gets confusing.  I just finished a long back and forth text with my nieces who were both born in China.

"Asia" covers a lot of territory.  For some people using that label is fine and then if asked, further definition (usually by other Asians, my niece Sara says) is made. My niece Emma said she's ok with Asian or Chinese but doesn't care for Asian American.

My friend Jim Koseki, as a proud veteran of the US military, defines himself as Japanese American.

Hispanic covers a lot of territory too,  just like Asian.  I chatted with my neighbor, Gasper, yesterday.  He's second generation Mexican.  Until just this minute, I forgot about Latin/Latino so now I'll throw that into the mix.  It seems like those broad titles kind of robs a person of their proud heritage. I also wondered why people from Mexico speak "Spanish."  

Germans speak German.  Thai people speak Thai, etc.  Why do Mexicans speak Spanish?  Seems like another way of robbing them of their heritage.

Getting back to Gasper - he says he's Mexican. No fancy titles.

So, just to "stir the pot" a bit - all of the labels mentioned above belong to people of color. Except the Deaf people who blend in until they start signing.  Then they stand out a bit.

My husband, Peter, is Sicilian.  He's 100% Sicilian and proud of it.  He'll also answer to "Italian" but will eventually let you know about the difference.

I'm a white older lady.  You can't tell by looking at me that I'm half Scottish and half German.  It rarely comes up in conversation unless I'm at a Celtic festival like I was last weekend or an October fest in the fall.

So where am I going with this?  What am I trying to say?

People are proud of their heritage and their family history.  They shouldn't feel pushed into a category if they don't want to be pushed though. They shouldn't be marginalized or chastised but we don't have the greatest track record for that in this country - as do many other countries in this world.

So where am I going?  I don't know. 

Just sittin' here in The Red House - thinking. 

Diplomacy in the salon

 First off, when I say "salon" I'm referring to what we used to call the "beauty parlor."

It sounds weird now when I hear myself say it out loud but salon sounds a bit pretentious.  I think it's my age.  Old habits, ya know.

Anyway, I've thought a lot about the stylists (hair dressers - another oldie name tag) and how they handle their clients.

Back up a minute for a little history.  When I moved back to Michigan in 1978 I had to find someone to cut my hair.  I was extremely fortunate right at the get-go although, for the life of me, I can't remember her name.  I can see her face but no name is coming to me.

She was wonderful and then got married and started having babies.

Then I found Irene Gates.  She was great and then decided to leave the profession and put more time into her art.  She's a wonderful artist.  Check her out on FB.

I think I experimented a bit before I found Sue Cole in downtown Allegan.  I even followed her when she switched locations.

She retired/changed things up a bit but I stayed in her chair and the lady, Michelle Rutledge, next to that chair moved over and I've been with her ever since.  Even followed her to her new location.

Hey, ya find someone you trust and also like a lot, you follow.

You also keep coming back.  Now that we live in Holland I've changed doctors but not "stylists."  Back to Allegan monthly.

Now, back to the title of this blog.  

I remember being told by "someone" (I won't name names) that often times when customers bring in a picture of a hairstyle, what they really want is to look like the super model in the picture.  Not so much the hairstyle.  

How do they handle that situation? How do they find the words to say "honey, that ain't never gonna happen?"  

When they've had a longtime customer sporting the same style for decades, do they kindly suggest something new?  Like from this century or wait to be asked?

What about color?  "As we age" (don't you hate that expression) dark colors are not as flattering as they were when we were 21. 

Another sticky situation.  Suggest something softer or take the big leap and mention returning to the natural color - even if it's white???  Egad!

Do stylists critique every head that walks by?  I know they do because someone I trust and love told me so.

I remember a handful of years ago I was complaining to Michelle about the back of my hair doing some kinda flippy thing and she said "Ellen, you know you have a lot of natural wave in your hair.  What do you think about embracing it?"

Remember how I said I trust her?  Well, we moved on to a new frontier and I haven't looked back.  

I don't know if I could be as diplomatic as most stylists are.  I know I couldn't.  I'd feel it would be my civic duty to talk that woman out of her beehive (look it up if you're so young you've never see that word before) or convince the fellow in my chair that mullets ARE OVER!

Stylists have your best interests at heart.  They know hair.  Don't be afraid to say "Hey, I want to change things up a bit.  What do you suggest?"

See you next week, Michelle!